


Moments

by an_idle_teen



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Overdosing, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 14:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/688153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_idle_teen/pseuds/an_idle_teen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is at the lads’ flat, he couldn’t handle being home alone again. It’s just getting to be too much for him.</p><p>They’re having a lads night out, according to Liam. But that’s total bull, because it’s not the same without Louis, and they all know it. </p><p>No one has brought it up yet though, and Harry is grateful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moments

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I posted this fic on my wattpad (justacceptmeplease) and tumblr (orangelstodie) - so don't worry it isn't stolen! 
> 
> Enjoy! xx

Harry is at the lads’ flat, he couldn’t handle being home alone again. It’s just getting to be too much for him.

They’re having a lads night out, according to Liam. But that’s total bull, because it’s not the same without Louis, and they all know it. 

No one has brought it up yet though, and Harry is grateful.

Harry stared at the Telly, not really paying attention to what was on the screen. He was too busy praying that Louis would come back home soon. 

He hasn’t been around much for the past month or so. Harry knows that Lou’s been with Eleanor, and that he’s happy, but it doesn’t stop Harry from missing his best mate like fucking crazy. 

“Harry, are you okay?” Liam asks, getting up from his spot on the other couch to come sit beside the younger lad.

Harry looked up at him, confused. Does he not look alright? He’s been getting good at hiding all of his emotions, but not good enough, apparently.

“Yeah, I’m just peachy.” He lied, trying to keep his tone light and happy. Liam is always freaking out over the tiniest of things, and Harry just can’t handle something like that tonight. 

“Sure…” Liam pauses, looking back at Harry doubtfully. He obviously doesn’t believe the boy, but Harry really doesn’t care. 

He doesn’t care about anything anymore. He’s just this empty body, a sad excuse for a person.  
Harry hasn’t been eating as much lately, since Louis left, and whenever he tries to sleep, he has nightmares. 

All of Harry’s dreams include Louis… well his eyes. Those perfect, startlingly blue eyes. But even in Harry’s dreams Louis is avoiding him. Harry tries to catch Lou’s gaze, but it never works. He always wakes up sweating and afraid. Afraid that he will never be able to look into those eyes again. 

Harry knows that he’s being a bit overdramatic, but he can’t help it.  
Louis has been avoiding Harry, at all costs. The last time he stopped by their flat was over a week ago, and it was only to re-pack his duffel bag. He didn’t even say hello. Harry just watched him come and go, wondering why this was happening. 

Harry doesn’t know what he’s done wrong, but he’s sure that it’s something horrid. Because why else would Louis avoid him? It just doesn’t make any sense… 

“Harry? The movie is over.” Liam interrupts Harry’s morbid thoughts once again. 

He knows Liam will want him to spend the night, and for a moment Harry considers it. But he needs to be home. Harry can’t shake the feeling that tonight could be the night that Louis comes back. He wouldn’t want to miss that. 

It’s a long shot, yes, but Harry is still hopeful. He’ll never stop hoping. Not when it comes to Louis. 

“Tonight’s been great, but I got to go…” Harry says, trying to sound apologetic. He’s really not, but the lads let him leave in peace. They all know he’s under enough stress, and they don’t want to add any on. 

Big mistake… 

Harry had planned on taking a cab home, because Liam was very insistent on it, but now he isn’t so sure. 

Harry wanted to walk back to the flat, and he wanted to take his time. He needs some time alone with his thoughts, in an environment other than his empty flat.

He had a very odd feeling about tonight. Something was going to change. He just wasn’t sure if it would be good or bad. Hopefully good, but you never know.

Harry had been walking for a few minutes, and couldn’t get Louis off his mind. Louis is all he can think about, like always. Harry’s been in love with Louis for as long as he can remember, but he’s never made it too obvious. 

Or has he? Could that be why Louis is gone, because Harry has been too obvious with his feelings?

He has to know. And he has to know now. He tried calling Louis, for about the sixth time today, but it went straight to voicemail. Like always. 

‘Hey, it’s Louis! I’m busy rig- Hazza! Stop! Eh, gotta go, bye!’ Louis’ voice rang through his phone, making Harry smile.

He remembers that day perfectly. It had been a really good day.  
Louis and Harry had been lounging about the flat, being lazy, when Louis randomly decided that he needed to change his voicemail. 

Harry had complied, pretending not to pay attention, but of course he couldn’t help but bother his best mate. He started to tickle Louis, and he remembered how their eyes had suddenly connected, and that’s when Louis hung up. 

They just sat there, staring “deeply” into each others eyes, shutting out the rest of the world. 

Then Louis had leaned in, making Harry do the same. They were going-going-going, and then the phone rang. 

It had been awkward for a moment or two, but then Louis had just laughed it off. And everything went back to normal. Harry wasn’t sure if he should be relieved, or disappointed. 

Harry hadn’t realized that he was crying until he walked by a building, and checked his reflection in the windows out of habit. Even just thinking about Louis got Harry all emotional. He was such a mess. Emotionally and physically…

Harry got home safely, calling out into the darkness when he did.

“Hullo? Lou, I’m home!” He yelled out, pausing by the front door while he waited for a response.  
Nothing.

Once again, he’ll be sleeping alone. What else is new? He shouldn’t have been so shocked when he found the flat empty.  
He walked into the kitchen, not to get food, but to get some sleeping pills. He hadn’t tried these yet, and he really needs a good nights sleep. 

But stuck to the cabinet was a note. Written by Louis. Harry gasped and quickly ripped it down. 

He took a deep breath and started to read:

 

Harry, I know I haven’t been around lately. But it’s for your own good, trust me. And maybe my reasons are a bit fucking selfish, but I can’t help it. I don’t want to hurt you, and so I’m sorry if you are hurting right now. Well, I’m gonna get to the point. I’m moving in with El, like officially… I’ve got all my stuff, aside from a few bags, but I’ll get those later. Maybe you’ll be home this time, and I can say goodbye in person. 

Love, Louis xx 

 

Harry had made it through the whole letter without making a sound, but when he was done, he completely lost it. He crumpled up the note and let it fall out of his hands. 

Harry rushed over to the sink, grabbing a few dirty dishes and slamming them onto the ground. He watched as they broke into pieces, fascinated by the glass that was now shimmering on the floor.

He couldn’t help but wonder if this could have been avoided. If Harry had taken the cab home, he may have been back in time to see his Boobear. And then maybe they could’ve talked things through.  
But no… The odds are not ever in Harry’s favor. Not today. 

Not ever, really. 

He looks back to the sink, pulled by some black force. Harry’s not thinking clearly, that much is obvious. But he has the sleeping pills in his hand, the knives are only a few steps away, and he’s sure that there’s a bottle of vodka stashed away somewhere.

He knows what he has to do. He can’t just sit around, waiting for Louis to come back. Louis loves Eleanor, and he’ll never love Harry. 

Not in the way that Harry so desperately needs…

So Harry has to say goodbye. He needs to end all of the pain, it’s getting to be much too hard for him. He can’t live without his Boobear anymore. 

But first, he needs to say goodbye to everyone. 

He calls his mum, but she’s out, according to the voicemail. So he leaves a message. 

“Hey, mum. I love you and don’t worry. Everything is fine, well not really, but it will be in a few moments. Tell Gemma I love her.”

Okay, next the boys. He’s sure that they’re sleeping, and he doesn’t want to wake them up with a call. So he leaves a few texts. 

LEEYUM: I’m sorry. I should have stayed at your place tonight. It’s not your fault. You tried. Watch after the lads for me please. Love you x

Zayn Is Sexy: Sorry it had to be this way. I know that you don’t really know what’s going on, you’re as clueless as ever. But I love you mate. I just can’t do this anymore. x

Nialler: Um, you’ll probably know what this message is for, Liam will be freaking out most likely. Sorry. Don’t come to my flat though. You shouldn’t have to see this. Love ya! x

And now, Louis. Harry needs to make this special, he needs to let out all his feelings before he goes. 

So he’ll leave a letter, for Louis to read when (if) he comes back.

He’s still crying, and so the letter is slightly smudged, but it should do…

 

Dear Boobear, (if I can even call you that anymore) 

I love you so much. More than you’ll ever know. Not just a ‘best mate’ type of love. No, it’s so much more than that. I’m in love with you. You fucking git. And I can’t believe you would pick that slag over me, but it makes some sense. Why would you want me? I’m a player… Right? Right. I’m sorry that I had to go this way, but I can’t handle this shit anymore. Going through the past month without you has been torture. But knowing you’ll be with Eleanor, for like, forever? It’s just too much. Sorry Boo. I love you, don’t forget. And don’t do anything stupid after you read this. You deserve a happy and long life. Without me.

Yours for forever, Harry Edward Styles. xxxxxxxxxx

 

By the time he’s done writing Lou’s letter, Harry is a blubbering mess. He’s gasping for air, even though he knows that he won’t be doing that anymore after tonight.

It’s time… 

Harry opens up the knife drawer, taking out the longest, slimmest, one they have. He’s not sure if he’s going to use it, he doesn’t really want anymore pain. But it’s just in case. 

Next he searches around the kitchen for a bit, until he finds what he’s looking for: Grey Goose Vodka. Perfect. Fucking perfect. 

With enough sleeping pills and some of this to drink, it should be enough to knock him out eternally. 

He’s not sure how many sleeping pills he should take exactly, but he doesn’t think it really matters.  
Harry slumps down onto the cold kitchen floor, breathing deeply like he’s run a marathon. It’s silent in the flat, aside from the loud pounding in his chest. 

He pauses for a moment, waiting for something. For a sign maybe? A sign that he shouldn’t go through with this. But there’s nothing… Just silence.

“Okay… Okay.” He mumbles to himself, closing his eyes. He opens them again, feeling like it’s now or never.

He pours out some of the pills and counts them, out of habit. 6. That should be enough, with the vodka. Right? Harry sure hopes so.

How horrid would that be: a failed suicide attempt with all the sappy texts and whatnot that he left behind? It would a right nightmare. 

He takes a sip of the vodka, and accompanies it with two pills. 

They go down his throat smoothly, making Harry smile. It’s not a happy smile though. It’s the smile of someone who knows that their end is almost near.

But he can’t stop now…

Another big gulp, and two more pills. He waits another moment, feeling the sting. It hurts and he fucking loves it.

‘Just two more pills and a little more to drink…’ He thinks to himself. 

And then this will all be over… 

Harry is already starting to feel drowsy, so he quickly shoves the last two pills down his throat, coughing a bit at the roughness as they drag down his throat. Another sip. 

He’s laying down on the floor now, and his eyes are starting to close. It’s hard to keep them open.

This is it…

Harry hears something by the door, but he’s too out of it to do anything. He smiles, knowing that all the pain will be gone soon.

“HARRY?!” 

And then it’s all black…

 

*

 

Louis knew that distancing himself from the other lads, well Harry really, was for the best. Even if it didn’t feel right at the moment, he knew it would all be worth it in the end. 

At least, he hoped and prayed that it would be. It would really suck if all that Louis has been doing turns out to be for nothing. 

And what exactly was Louis doing? Why on Earth would he ever want to avoid his best mates? The lads who knew him inside and out, especially his Hazza?

He didn’t. He wouldn’t ever want to cause his mates, or his best mate, Harry, any pain. Not ever.  
But he had to. Because Louis’ feelings were starting to get the best of him, making it difficult for the Doncaster lad to even look at Harry without getting flustered. It needed to stop.

So, he contacted his best gal mate, Eleanor. Eleanor was essentially just going to be a beard, but Louis hoped that maybe she would rub off on him. 

Turn him straight again. 

Louis could only hope. His feelings for Harry were getting way out of control. He didn’t want to mess up the best thing in his life all because he was feeling a bit horny.

But was it really only lust that Louis felt for the younger lad? Louis didn’t know, didn’t really want to know, in fact. He would rather play it safe, would rather live a lie.

“Eleanor?” Louis mumbled from the floor, where he had been laying comfortably as they watched Love Actually. Harry’s favorite movie, although neither of them had wanted to bring it up.

“Yeah, Lou?” Eleanor asked, sounding concerned. She really was an amazing person, beautiful too, but she wasn’t Harry. Louis needed Harry. He just couldn’t be with him.

“I should probably head over to Harry and I- I mean, over to Harry’s flat. Pack some more bags?” Louis stated, although both Louis and Eleanor knew that he didn’t just want to pack his stuff.

He might be able to see Harry. Just one last time, that’s all Louis wanted, or rather, needed.

“Sure Lou, whatever. Need a ride?” Eleanor sighed, knowing that there was no use in arguing with the older lad. Once he had his mind focused on something, he was going to have it, no matter what.

Louis thought about bringing Eleanor with him for a moment, but politely declined. What if Harry sees El from the window or something? Sure, it’s not likely, but Louis just wants to make sure. 

“Nah El, I’ll only be a few moments.” Louis said, ignoring the little snort of disbelief Eleanor gave him.

“So ladylike!” Louis sneered at her, as he made his way out of her cozy little flat.

It was a cold, crisp night, and Louis had forgotten his jacket. But he was a man on a mission, and he couldn’t turn back now.

He had just put the keys in the ignition when he realized he had left his phone in El’s place. He cursed himself for being so forgetful, but he didn’t bother going back. He would be okay without, it’s only for a little while. 

Still, as Louis was driving, he felt a tad nervous. Like something bad was going to happen. He sped up, going a few miles over the limit, but he didn’t mind. He needed to reach his Hazza, make sure that he was okay.

“I have a bad feeling about this…” 

Louis murmered to himself as he stood outside the familiar building. He hadn’t been here in at least a week, and it was a bittersweet moment for the older lad.

Now to ‘accidentally’ bump into Harry on his way in.

Louis hoped that the younger lad wasn’t asleep, because then this trip would’ve been all for nothing. He can’t exactly wake Harry up, can he?

Nope. He couldn’t. It would be way too weird.

As soon as Louis stepped through the front door he knew something was wrong. The flat felt cold, and unfamiliar.

“Haz- Er, Harry?!” Louis called out, walking through the kitchen.  
No answer.

“Um, listen Harry. This isn’t funny!” He yelled, feeling panicked that the younger lad hadn’t come out to greet him, or even yell at him, like he deserved.

And then Louis remembered.

“Dummy!” He scolded himself, as he realized that Harry was more than likely with the other lads. 

Louis constantly kept in touch with them, it was his way of keeping tabs on Harry. Not the brightest idea, but Louis worked with what he had (out of control feelings and a girl willing to be his cover up).

“I guess I’ll just leave a note, and come back later.” Louis mumbled to himself, disappointed. He had really wanted to see his Hazza again!

Quickly he let go of his disappointment, feeling foolish. He shouldn’t even be here right now, it was a dangerous situation and Louis knew it.

He wrote the note anyway, rushing slightly. Yeah, he could just leave Harry a message, but Louis has always been a bit dramatic.

 

Harry, I know I haven’t been around lately. But it’s for your own good, trust me. And maybe my reasons are a bit fucking selfish, but I can’t help it. I don’t want to hurt you, and so I’m sorry if you are hurting right now. Well, I’m gonna get to the point. I’m moving in with El, like officially… I’ve got all my stuff, aside from a few bags, but I’ll get those later. Maybe you’ll be home this time, and I can say goodbye in person.  
Love, Louis xx

 

He had hesitated slightly on the “love” and “xx”part, but wrote it anyway. It was really his only way of letting Harry know how he feels, even if it wasn’t all that obvious. It wasn’t really supposed to be obvious anyway, that was the whole point of Louis leaving. 

Louis stuck the note to the cabinet, where he was sure Harry would find it later on. Hopefully he understood, and wasn't too upset. 

He walked into Harry’s room first, breathing in the familiar scent. Harry’s scent. It was kind of fucking great, just like Harry, and it made Louis’ heart ache painfully. 

But he forced that feeling down.

No point in getting all worked up.

Quickly he left Harry’s room, heading for his own. The door was slightly ajar, and as he took a closer look, Louis realized that the sheets looked fresh and slept in.

No… Did Harry… Has he been sleeping in Louis’ room?

Louis walked shakily to his bed, breathing in the duvets scent.

Yup. Definitley Harry.

Louis wasn’t sure what to make of this recent revelation. Should he be happy? Hopeful? He didn’t know, and he really didn’t want to get his hopes up over something that could mean so little.

Instead of obsessing over those thoughts, he got to work on packing a few more bags. Just a couple more outfits, a stuffed carrot that Harry gotten him (the little shit), nothing too major. He made sure to leave a few things behind so that he could visit Harry again later, like he promised in the letter.

Louis left his old flat feeling accomplished, but wary. He just had this huge feeling of dread, like something horrible was going to happen.

He was back in Eleanor’s flat, but the pretty girl was getting impatient.

“Louis! What the fuck is your issue? Stop shaking your legs before I shake my fist in your face!” She snapped at him, growling a bit.

Instantly, Louis stopped, knowing that with Eleanor it’s never an empty threat. That girl is crazy! And Louis has the bite marks to prove it, although he’d rather not think about that dark day.

It had been about thirty minutes, and Louis couldn’t take it anymore. He had to see Harry, and make sure the younger lad was alright.

So, he called Liam. 

“Hey mate, is Harry still with you guys?” Louis asked, praying that the answer would be a negative one.

“No mate, he left a wile ago, why?” Liam asked rudely, sounding upset. Liam knew the reason behind Louis’ frequent disappearances, but he didn’t like it.

“Um, gotta go!” Louis muttered, ignoring Liam’s squeaks of protest as he quickly hung up on his mate. He didn’t want the other lads to know about his plan yet. Hell, he didn’t even know what his plan was yet!

Louis left Eleanor without another word, too focused on seeing Harry to speak. This time though, he didn’t forget his jacket, although he didn’t take his phone. He had some missed calls, but he was too busy to check who they were from. Probably his Mum, or maybe even Simon. Both could wait until after he dealt with Harry.

Once again, Louis was speeding, yet he couln’t bring himself to care. He had to make sure that Harry was alright.

And if Harry wasn’t alright? Well, Louis honestly doesn’t know what he would do…

Louis pulled into the parking lot, with a bad feeling in his tummy. It gave him the chills, and not even holding his jacket tighter could make them go away.

Louis walked up that familiar pathway, feeling nostalgic.  
That feeling didn’t last too long though, because Louis had once again entered his flat, and what he saw wasn’t something that could be unseen.

Harry, lying there. Next to some pills. And a half empty bottle of vodka. Did Louis mention the knife? No? Oh, well there was a knife by Harry’s side as well.  
What. the. fuck.

Louis couldn’t breathe, he was too shocked. What the hell is going on here?!

After what felt like hours, but in reality was only a few seconds, Louis regained his voice. And boy did he use it.

“HARRY?!” The older lad shouted, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. He refused to cry though, he needed to remain strong because Harry obviously wasn’t able to.

There was no response, the younger lad just lay there, a sick little smile on his face. Louis’ heart broke at the sight, and he couldn’t help but feel like it was all his fault. 

But Louis knew that now wasn’t the time to wallow in self pity, he could do that later. Right now, his Hazza needed him. And he wasn’t going to fail again.

Louis rushed over to Harry, feeling up and down. No, Louis wasn’t molesting the younger lad, he was searching for his phone.

“Found it!” He mumbled to himself, unlocking it quickly. He smiled slightly realizing that that password hadn’t been changed. It was still ‘Louis’.

The iPhone had been open to Messages, and Louis gaped at all the texts that Harry had recently sent. So Harry had been set out to kill himself.

“What the actual fu-” Ring!Ring!

Louis couldn’t finish that sentence, because Liam was calling. Instantly Louis clicked ‘Answer’, letting out a big sigh of relief. Liam should know what to do.

“HARRY! DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT YOUNG MAN. ERMAGOD!” Liam’s stern voice blasted through the phone, sounding panicked.

“Liam! Calm down, and call an ambulance. I need you and the other lads here stat!” Louis didn’t know how he was remaining calm, normally he’d be rolling around on the floor crying.

Liam didn’t even second guess Louis, he just hung up.

Grateful for the silence, Louis rushed back over to Harry, who was still as unresponsive as ever.  
Louis cradled Harry up into his arms, holding him tight and whispering sweet nothings into his messy mop of curls.

Louis was still rocking the younger boy back and forth when he heard the unmistakable ringing of the Ambulance. He mumbled a curse of relief and stood up quickly, making sure not to jostle the boy in his arms and waited for his mates to come in.

He heard some running, some muffled curses and even some sniffles and then in came Liam, followed by a weeping Niall who was being held tightly by Zayn.

“Li-” SLAM!

Liam had punched the older lad, and then reared back, as if realizing what he had just done. 

Instantly he started to apologize, but Louis assured him that there was no need. Louis knew he deserved that and so much more. 

The ride to the hospital was unpleasant and tense, because nobody wanted to speak. All the lads, Louis especially, were too caught up in their own thoughts to worry about anybody else.

Louis knew that this was all his fault. He just hopes he wasn’t too late.

And maybe, if Harry ends up being all right, Louis will confess to everything.

After reading that letter Harry left Louis, there was no other choice.

 

Dear Boobear, (if I can even call you that anymore) 

I love you so much. More than you’ll ever know. Not just a ‘best mate’ type of love. No, it’s so much more than that. I’m in love with you. You fucking git. And I can’t believe you would pick that slag over me, but it makes some sense. Why would you want me? I’m a player… Right? Right. I’m sorry that I had to go this way, but I can’t handle this shit anymore. Going through the past month without you has been torture. But knowing you’ll be with Eleanor, for like, forever? It’s just too much. Sorry Boo. I love you, don’t forget. And don’t do anything stupid after you read this. You deserve a happy and long life. Without me.  
Yours for forever, Harry Edward Styles. xxxxxxxxxx

 

Louis only hoped that his forever hadn’t ended before it even had a chance to really begin.

 

*

 

After a tense, practically silent ride, the lads are finally at the hospital. 

Niall had played the role of the joker this time, trying to get somebody to at least crack a smile, but it hadn’t happened. Liam too, kept trying to apologize to Louis for that punch he threw earlier, but Louis wasn’t having it. Zayn was the only relatively normal one, but he rank of nicotine, so honestly he wasn’t doing too well either.

They were all feeling a bit guilty, but Louis was obviously blaming only himself for what had happened to Harry. It was his fault, he knows it was, for leaving Harry when he so obviously needed Louis. 

And if Harry didn’t make it out of that hospital, Louis would never forgive himself. Already, the guilt was weighing him down. Louis looked like a shell of the lad he was only a few hours ago. He was paler, his eyes wide but not entirely alert. He was a right mess. 

“Louis! We’re here mate, let’s go!” Niall said, shaking Louis’ arm to get his attention. It worked, and instantly Louis was out of the car, running towards the entrance. 

The rest of the lads ran after him quickly, not bothering to ask Louis to slow down, because they knew he wouldn’t listen. Zayn ended up tripping over a rock, falling dramatically to the ground. 

“Don’t worry mates, I’m good!” He shouted, brushing himself off, even though nobody was paying the dark haired lad any attention. 

A few seconds later he caught up with the other lads, and they all looked rather confused.

“Where’d you go?” Liam asked, eyes narrowed. 

Blushing, Zayn just mumbled some random nonsense, staring at the ground he had just recently become acquainted with. 

“Alright… let’s do this thing!” Louis said to his younger bandmates, trying to seem put together even though on the inside he was falling apart. His Harry was in that building, and he had to stay strong. If not for himself, for everyone else. 

Louis was the first one to speak, but he wasn’t moving. It was as if his feet had been glued to the cement, because as hard as he tried to take a step, it seemed impossible. He was way too nervous. 

What if Harry was ok -which would be a miracle- but didn’t want to talk to Louis? Sure, the note he had left explained his love and everything, but maybe after almost dying his feelings will have changed? Louis wasn’t too keen on finding out, to be honest. 

The other lads seem to notice their best mate’s dilemma, and are quick to help. Liam takes the lead, grabbing Louis’ hand like he’s a small child in need of guiding. And that’s just what Liam does: he guides Louis to the front desk, murmuring sweet things to keep him calm. 

Niall and Zayn are right behind them, checking around to make sure there aren’t any paps hiding around somewhere. The last thing they need is news of Harry being in the hospital, it would just cause more problems. In fact, Simon isn’t even aware of what went down tonight. He’s going to be pissed when he finds out, that’s for sure.

“Hi, can I help you?” The pretty lady (whose name-tag says Mira) at the front desk asks, barely looking up from her computer. 

Liam tries speaking first, because he doesn’t think Louis can really handle this, but said lad stops him and he gently backs off. 

“Let me.” Louis mumbles, before taking a deep breath and speaking again. “We’re here for, um, a Harry Styles?”

This gets her attention. “Oh! He’s in the Suicide Watch Unit, he really caused himself some damage. They’re just keeping an on eye on him, it’s regulation really,” Mira says, shaking her head sympathetically at Louis.

As if she knows what Louis could possibly be going through. Well, she doesn’t. She has no fucking idea. Louis honestly hopes that she never has to find out.

“Well, is he awake?” Zayn asks, stepping forward and putting a hand on Louis’ shoulder, squeezing lightly. Louis can smell the smoke on him, but takes comfort in it, knowing his best mates will always have his back.

Mira looks around, before motioning for them to come closer. Confused but not daring to ask any questions, they do as asked. Well, not really asked, but still.

“Okay so I’m not really supposed to tell you what room he’s in. Or give you any info really-” Mira starts to say, but Louis quickly cuts her off.

“Well that’s all fucking well and dandy, miss, but I want to see Harry. Now.” He says rudely, narrowing his eyes.

Mira takes it all in stride though, obviously used to this type of sassy behavior. “As I was saying… Harry is on the Third Floor, Room 302. You can take the elevator if you’d like. Be careful!” She says, smiling slightly before going back to her computer.

Louis doesn’t even thank her, just takes off running, leaving the other lads to apologize and say thank you on his behalf.

Louis is slightly out of breath, and feels like he hasn’t run that much since the time he and Harry got caught in a mall without Paul. And ohmygod, Harry! His Harry! He runs a bit faster, bypassing the elevator completely.

Second Floor…

Damn, his arse is going to be really firm by the time he’s done with all these stairs!

Third Floor…

Room 300…

So close.

Room 301…

Hopefully Harry is awake. 

“Here it is…”

“Lou?” Harry mumbles instantly, (and oh shit is he awake? how the fuck?) his voice croaky and not too alert.

Still, he’s alive, and Louis is finally here and Harry isn’t dead and ohmygod is Louis dreaming?

“Hey, um… Your mum called? Said that as soon as she could she’d take the next flight over here, and beat your arse?” Louis mumbles, blushing instantly as he realizes what he just said.

Really Louis, really? The lad you’re in love with attempted suicide and you start off chatting about his mum coming to beat him? Idiot!

But then Harry chuckles drowsily and Louis feels like he’s just won a million bucks. Harry holds his arms out, and so of course Louis has to rush over, and hold onto the younger lad tightly.

“Oh, Hazza…” Louis whispers into those distractingly curly locks, kissing his cheek repeatedly.

“I-I am so sorry…” Harry chokes out, and then he’s crying and maybe Louis is too, but it’s okay because they’re together and they’ll make it through this. Just like they always do.

“Sh, Hazza. You’re good, so good Haz. So, so good.” Louis rambles on, pausing every few moments to press more gentle kisses into his best mate’s (future boyfriend’s?) curls.

Harry’s sobs quickly quiet down to an occasional hiccup, but Louis still hasn’t left his side, and Harry is grateful. 

They still need to talk, though? and god, that is gonna be fucking awkward.

Let’s be real, Harry only admit all that because he hadn’t planned on waking up. Now that he has, and Louis is actually here, everything has changed. Or has it? Harry isn’t too sure, because Louis doesn’t seem angry, quite the opposite, really.

“Excuse me, sir? What are you doing?” A voice- the Doctor’s, Louis assumes- interrupts them. 

“Um. I’m his boyfriend?”

Okay. Wow. Oops. Louis hadn’t meant to say that, it just kinda slipped out? And maybe, maybe, he wanted to see how Harry would react? 

“Right. He’s my boyfriend.” Harry repeats shakily, as if what’s happening right now is all a dream. But then Louis is smirking at him and he forgets all about his worries. Because he has his Louis back. And that’s all he ever really wanted.

The Doctor is obviously a bit shaken up at first, he definitely wasn’t expecting that, but he quickly regains his serious composure.

“Well, we have to perform some tests, do a checkup. Standard procedure for this kind of thing, really. You’ll have to wait outside.” 

Louis really, really does not want to leave Harry right now. And by the way Harry tenses up when the Doctor said he’d have to wait outside, he wants Louis to stay as well.

But Louis can’t. What he wants more than Harry is for Harry to get better as soon as possible, and if he has to wait outside for that to happen, then he will.

“Hazza, I’ll be right back. Don’t get your curls in a twist.” Louis murmurs lovingly to Harry, leaning in to give him a quick (but intense) peck on the lips.

And then the Doctor clears his throat and the moment is ruined, so Louis just does a little diva stomp and quickly exits the room, running into Zayn. 

Wait, Zayn?

“The hell took you guys so long!”

Louis tries his best to seem upset, but really he’s glad that he got some time alone with Harry. They were way overdue.

The other lads clearly see what game Louis is playing at, but graciously decide to ignore it.

Instead, they bombard him with questions.

“Is he okay?”

“Well, y-”

“He’s fine, right?”

“Course he i-“

“Can we see him?”

And then Louis goes silent, waiting for them to get all their comments and concerns out completely before answering. Again. 

“Yes, he’s perfectly fine. A bit tired, but that’s not a surprise, yeah? And we’ll probably have to take turns, but we can see him. He’s busy right now though.” 

Louis takes a deep breath, feeling all of a sudden very tired. And old. He doesn’t like the feeling, to be quite honest.

All of these emotions he’s been trying to bottle up come rushing back: the angst, lust, sadness, anger, happiness, relief, and most of all, love. It’s a lot to take in, but they’re not entirely new feelings. It’s just, now, he can finally let Harry know about them.

“Boys? Harry is fine, he’ll have to stay the night though. And, we’re thinking about setting up an appointment with a Therapist?”

“No fucking way!” Louis is furious, because what the hell.

His Harry is perfect, and doesn’t need any help. He only needs Louis, and this time, Louis won’t be going anywhere. 

The Doctor looks taken aback, obviously thinking that he would get the opposite sort of reaction, but Louis doesn’t really care. He’s being stubborn again, and so the Doc looks around, trying to get some back up.

Not surprisingly, the other lads agree with Louis. Harry isn’t unwell, he was just a little bit lonely and a lot upset. He’ll be fine now. 

“Lou?” Harry calls from the cramped room, starting to feel lonely again. Louis said he’d be right back, so where is he? He didn’t leave again, right? And oh look his heart beat is picking up, wow should it be beeping that fast? 

But then Louis is back, so Harry feels complete again. The beeping thingy goes back to normal, and everything is okay. More than okay, perfect really.

“Hazza! Sh, babe, I’m right here. Right here, right here…”

Harry falls asleep in Louis’ arms, listening to that melodic voice. It’s the best, most restful sleep he’s had in a long time. 

Harry is awake, but Louis seems to be in the middle of telling him something important, so he closes his eyes and “sleeps” just a little bit longer. 

”- and, I love you.”

Don’t blow your cover Harry, he doesn’t know you’re awake, oh shit why does he have to have that heart rate monitor thing again? 

“Haz?!” Louis stutters, obviously thinking that he’d been safe with his confession. 

Harry coughs awkwardly, opening his eyes but hiding them under his fringe, unsure of what to say or do. 

“Erm, hi.”

Smooth, real smooth, Styles. 

Maybe you’d like to discuss the weather? No? Alright… 

Louis seems to realize this as well, and grins largely, making Harry’s heart flutter. 

“Hi.” Louis mumbles, before pressing another sweet kiss to Harry’s lips.

This one isn’t so short, and it’s a lot more intense, so really can you blame the poor Doctor for thinking that the younger lad was having a panic attack when he hears how crazy the monitor is beeping? 

“Sweet Jesus,” he mumbles to himself, before rushing out of the room.

-fin-

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I know that Harry really should have been brought into therapy, but... whatever! Haha bye! xx


End file.
